Wedding speeches are dreaded by many – however they don’t have to be! Here, Jessica Mansas presents a few basic guidelines for writing the perfect wedding speech.

You have everything planned for your special day – from the ceremony to the reception you have continuously been ticking items off your to-do list. Then you glance down to the bottom of the page and see written in big bold letters – organise wedding speeches!

It seems the wedding speech is generally either feared or loved, but with today’s resources writing a speech isn’t as difficult as you might think.

Whether you’re making a speech, or trying to choose who will, here are some guidelines to help this part of the night run smoothly.

BE PREPARED
It all comes down to preparation when writing the perfect wedding speech. Ideally you should begin planning up to a few months, but at least a few weeks, prior to the actual wedding day! During the early stages of speech writing it is handy to keep a notepad with you, so you can jot down any ideas as you think of them.

Have a good idea of topics you want to cover in your speech, and then narrow it down to just a few key themes. Depending on the formality of the wedding, one idea is to structure your speech around a ‘past-to-present’ format – this way you can reflect on past memories and the journey you have shared with the couple or each other.

When preparing ideas and key themes for your speech it is important to keep in mind the following points:
• Who is your audience?
• What do they want to hear?
• How long are you allowed to talk for?
• How long do you actually need to talk for? (Short and sweet generally wins over an audience!)

WRITING YOUR SPEECH
It is said that the first 30 seconds of a speech is the most memorable. The beginning and ending of a speech is what captivates the audience and leaves them inspired.

When writing your speech, consider your audience, remembering you must be respectful and appropriate towards cultural and generational differences. Keep clear of smutty and crude content as this could offend some guests.

Be stimulating, have fresh ideas and try to use engaging words throughout your speech – a dry speech is hard to listen to and you don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.

Try to keep your speech short and sweet; brief yet engaging speeches are best for maintaining an audience’s attention. A general rule-of-thumb is three to five minutes per speech . If your speech is 15 minutes long and there are still people to talk after you, the audience will most likely drift in and out of active listening, not paying attention to you or your fellow speech givers.

Finally, read your speech aloud a few times to get an idea of how it will sound and make any necessary adjustments. Also, begin practicing facial expressions and good posture, so that by the time you actually deliver your speech, you will feel comfortable.

A Fool-Proof Guide To The Perfect Speech
A wedding speech doesn’t have to be daunting if you follow a step-by-step format – this way you cover all the necessary points and avoid waffling on throughout your speech!
• Before you start, plan key points and themes. Remember, you only need a couple.
• A humorous anecdote about the bride and groom will engage the audience and is a great way to start your speech.
• Thank everybody who has helped create the special day, such as the bridal party, friends and family who have travelled a long way and anyone who was a big part of planning the wedding.
• End your speech with an honest and heartwarming sentiment.

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
Rehearsing and final checks are vital when it comes to delivering your speech. Make sure that you are relaxed and not anticipating what you have written in your speech. Anticipating text can result in you skipping lines and missing integral parts of your speech.

It is important to practice your speech to the best of your ability and on the day have dot points written on cue cards, to prompt and remind you of points to cover. Avoid using an A4 sized sheet in front of the microphone on the day as this will ruffle and could be awkward to hold, so practicing with cue cards is best.

For those who feel confident and have no problem delivering a public speech, you may not need cue cards; however, it’s always a good idea to have some just in case.

DELIVERING ON THE DAY
For those who get nervous speaking in public, relax and take a deep breath. Remember that if you are making a speech you have a duty to the wedding couple, so avoid having too much alcohol beforehand. Nothing is ruder than speech givers who are swaying and slurring words.

When delivering your speech, avoid standing too close to the microphone. A good distance to keep the microphone is half-a-foot away from your mouth, which will prevent muffling the sound.

Speak clearly and concisely and avoid rushing. You are only speaking for a few minutes, so in that time try to make your speech as memorable as possible.

Crowd Pleaser
If you’re nervous about giving your speech, here are a few simple tips to make your best speech possible.

Don’t stress! A wedding speech is easier than other forms of public speaking as you will know people at the wedding.

If you’re not comfortable with fully memorising your speech, use cue cards. Cards don’t ruffle and you can discreetly hold them to one side. Avoid reading your whole speech off the cards or your practice paper. It is a good idea to get into the habit of using cards while rehearsing. Make eye contact with your audience – this is what engages them and keeps them listening. Use a mirror as your audience at home while practicing.

TRADITIONAL ROLES
Today, it is up to the bride and groom to choose who they want to speak at their wedding. It is not uncommon for the bride and her maid of honour to make a speech, as well as the mothers of the wedding couple. Times have changed and now wedding speeches are delivered by the loved ones closest to the couple. However, many couples still choose to follow the traditional format for speeches, which has the following order:
• Bride’s father
• Groom’s father
• The groom
• The best man

If you do decide to have the traditional speeches, here are some tips on what each person should include.

Father-Of-The-Bride or Father-Of-The-Groom
• Welcome guests to the wedding and thank them for coming.
• Talk about daughter/son and daughter-inlaw/ son-in-law.
• Thank everyone who helped make the wedding possible, including friends, family and service providers.
• Toast the bride and groom.
• Both the father-of-the-bride and the father-of-the-groom may speak more casually about his feelings and his relationship with the couple and officially welcome the new family member into his family.

The Groom
• Thank the bride’s father and his father for his toast.
• Thank them for their kindness and friendship, and his new father-in-law for welcoming him into his family.
• Thank all organisers for putting together the reception.
• Thank guests for attending and making the special day possible.
• Thank everyone for their beautiful wedding gifts and generosity.
• Thank his new wife for marrying him!
• Talk about the couple’s history and plans for the future.
• Thank individuals who have helped organise the wedding.
• Thank the bridal party for their help and support.

The Best Man
• Talk about the groom’s life experiences and personal qualities.
• Add some tasteful jokes and anecdotes about the groom – these are usually expected from the best man.
• Add details about the bride and groom as a couple and include any memorable experiences shared with the couple. Keep the stories appropriate.
• Propose a toast to the newlyweds.
• Traditionally, there is a reading of telegrams and cards from family and friends unable to attend.

THANKS AND GOODNIGHT
Every wedding is different and while the formality of speeches is still common, anybody can make a wedding speech should the couple ask them to.

It all depends on what the couple want for their wedding and how traditional the day is. The most important thing to remember if you have been asked to make a speech is to remain appropriate to the formality of the wedding. If it is a fairly conservative wedding and set in traditional surroundings, make sure you write your speech with these factors in mind. If the wedding is more casual, you have more leeway in terms of material you can use – but always remember to write the speech for the audience. A respectful speech that does not offend guests will always win your audience over. Write sincerely and from the heart and you’ll be sure to have a successful speech!